The Emotional Side of Caring for an Ageing Parent

Looking after your parent comes from love, but maintaining boundaries protects your relationship while ensuring they stay safe. The emotional side of this often gets less attention than the practical side, even though it can be just as hard to carry.

Feelings that are more common than they seem

• guilt, whether you are doing “enough”, or whether you need a break
• grief, for the relationship you used to have as roles shift
• frustration, especially if a parent resists help they need
• worry that pulls at you even when you are not physically with them

Protecting the relationship, not just the task list

It can help to separate the role of carer from the role of child, partner or friend, even in small ways. Where you can, let some of the caring tasks be done by others, such as a support worker or nurse, so that some of your time together is not about care at all.

Setting boundaries without guilt

Boundaries protect both of you. It is reasonable to decide which tasks you can take on yourself and which need outside help, and to say so clearly. A support coordinator, case manager, or our own team can help if you are finding it hard to raise this with your parent.

Looking after yourself

Carers often put their own needs last. Our respite care gives you a genuine break, and the free Carer Gateway offers counselling, coaching and peer support for carers, along with access to emergency respite if you are suddenly unable to provide care.

You are not the only one going through this

National Carers Week, from 11 to 17 October, exists because so many people quietly carry this role. See our events page for ways to take part, or read about combating carer burnout if things are starting to feel like too much.

If some extra support would help, call 1300 782 227 or start your journey online and we will talk about what could take some of the load off you.